Dear CBO Family,
Recently, I have been finding the urge to fix everything that is broken, from the clutter of my closets, to what I’m eating. Imagine my surprise when I push myself so hard that the pressure actually inhibits me from taking the first step on anything. This is where the phrase, “progress, not perfection” comes in. I have noticed that when I stop trying to do everything, I get more done. It is a paradox of life. The Torah helps us parse this out.
We begin Acharei Mot-Kedoshim with a reminder of how to conduct the Yom Kippur sacrifice. If you have not already closed this email, I’ll explain a little about the nuances of such sacrifices and how I think this helps us relate to what is in our control and what continues to allude us. On Yom Kippur the High Priest takes 2 goats; One goat is sacrificed right then and there and the other one wanders in the wilderness. Depending on the way the wind blows, this could take on so many possible meanings. At this point in my life, these 2 goats represent the actions we can change and those that are beyond our influence. In simple terms, where we have control and where we don’t.
It is incredibly frustrating when you desire your life to go in a certain direction and despite all of your efforts, there are aspects that do not abide by your rules. One option is to continue pushing forward and striving for what we want. This has its time and place and we can strive for excellence using that mindset. Too often, especially in times of distress, we drive ourselves crazy with this approach. Another option encourages us to be realistic and see that there are some aspects of life that we cannot change. There are goats that we can nip in the bud and there are goats that will continue to wander.
Accepting that not everything will be finished right now, and giving ourselves the grace and permission to not be perfect can relieve the pressure and free up our creativity, our sanity, and our breath. May you be kind to yourself and be gracious with those around you. We are under a great deal of pressure and we are only human.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bernstein
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