Many of us get to a decision-making breaking point. One event, one urgent matter after another needs our attention until our brain matter feels overworked. It is a blessing to have a guide, something or someone to take us by the hand, tell us to rest, and offer encouraging words, truth, and even distraction. The Torah manages to lead, to follow and walk side by side with us all at once and we need it. We need it when we are weary and when we are overjoyed. When we are weary it can show us others who know our suffering and when we celebrate it guides us to hear thoughts of jubilation to express our own.
This Shabbat we join with the weary Avraham, who likely feels pain around what he almost did to his own son. He may feel more distant from God than ever, or perhaps more in need. His wife has just died and he both wails and crumbles while also taking care of her burial. One of the words in the Hebrew for “wailing” is much smaller than all the rest. Some part of him is now smaller because Sarah is no longer in his life. Many of us can understand.
And we look at Sarah and ask why she died at this moment? Rashi tells us that she misheard the news of her son’s (almost) sacrifice and thought that he died. Her soul leapt from her body. She was in dire pain from Isaac’s apparent loss. This midrash is so powerful because it shows us how much damage our minds can do when we mishear, assume, or catastrophize situations. I hold this close as we are all watching the world’s politics and Covid-19 news. We make predictions based on information, some fact, some unclear and a lot of uncertainty. I take this midrash as encouragement to not let my mind sabotage me.
May we each be mindful of our thoughts and make the choice to live with peace. As we think about our own lives, we can prepare and be vigilant, especially around issues of health without allowing our minds to run away from us. If we can do that, our “decision fatigue” will lessen and we can think more strategically. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties the strength of today” (Corrie Ten Boom).
Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Bernstein
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