Dear CBO Family,
Today we mark a sad moment in the Torah. Miriam, the sister of Moses and Aaron dies in the wilderness. I imagine these 2 brothers, wandering, continuing to lead when the open wound of losing their sister is still fresh.
One would hope that the people would be sensitive to this loss and give them support. If Dr. Phil was writing this text, perhaps that would be the ending. But the Torah is more realistic than that. The people are so wrapped up in their own needs that the first words we hear them say to Moses and Aaron are:
“If only we had perished when our brothers perished at the instance of the LORD! Why have you brought the LORD’s congregation into this wilderness for us and our beasts to die there? Why did you make us leave Egypt to bring us to this wretched place, a place with no grain or figs or vines or pomegranates? There is not even water to drink!”
One cannot blame them for being scared and thirsty. They were without water. Yet, this brings up an aspect of the human condition, that we are oftentimes so absorbed in our own misfortune or "stuff" that we sometimes forget to be present for others in their time of need. Simple and clear.
It is obvious how true this is at the present moment. People ban together at the beginning of something big; there are oftentimes more people at the beginning of shiva rather than day 7. If you have a long stay at a hospital or rehab, the phone calls pour in at the beginning and then taper off. At the beginning of the pandemic, people were moved to put up signs to reach out more often... but as the NYT put it, we are "languishing" and it is affecting our outreach to one another.
It is time to reignite our spirit of outreach. We are beginning to come together in person for shiva and celebrations, some outside, some in, and navigating new parameters of staying safe. The "languishing effect" may make staying at home seem reasonable, but our communal connections call us to be physically present for one another. Zoom gave us an at-home way of reaching out, but nothing will replace being in person.
People may be struggling with mental health aspects from the trauma of the pandemic, where physically they may know they will be safe, but emotionally the fear is still there. We forget how traumatic it was to suddenly be cut off from friends and family. That fear, just like the thirst of the Israelites is understandable. Others still need to be careful of contracting the virus. And we want to be respectful of the continual needs.
And at the same time we are navigating a more open space where we might need a little loving boost to "show up," which can take many forms.
As our shul moves into "in-person" services at the beginning of July and as we are navigating in person events like shiva, I encourage you to figure out that next step for you in "showing up." Perhaps it is sending a meal if coming in person truly is not an option right now. Maybe it is coming to an event outside like shiva or a baby naming. Whatever it is, this is a reminder to see outside of our current needs and ask ourselves, "who might need to hear from me right now?" And then taking some sort of action.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Bernstein
