Dear CBO family,
Names are so much more than a collection of letters. God forbid you forget someone’s name off of a thank you speech, that person feels completely unseen and forgotten. Hearing our name called is being seen, appreciated, and acknowledged.
When we name a child after a loved one we often times say that they should embody the characteristics of that person.
The name becomes a script. I was named after my Grandfather David and strive to honor his love of learning and teaching.
It is no wonder that what someone is called, both their proper name and their pronoun, is such a hot button topic today. Names instruct and reflect who we are, how we are seen and treated, and who we want to be.
The 2nd book of the Torah, which begins this Shabbat, is in fact called “Names.” In English we call the 2nd book “Exodus,” but the Hebrew, “שמות,” Shemot, actually means “names.” The names listed are the souls that left their homes to move to Egypt. In a time in which the children of Jacob are leaving their little Shtetl in Canaan, what they are called is more important than ever. Identity, especially in a move, is in motion and people are holding onto continuity while going through change.
In Genesis 46, we see a list of every single soul, but in Exodus (the book called Names), only 11 people are mentioned. It got me thinking about how one person comes to represent many with all the pressures that come with this.
On the one hand, the name is a script, one that prescribes how we might behave and what choices we make. On the other hand, it is human nature to want to break the script and to want to just be YOU. The names that we ask others to call us are meant to instruct how to relate. If you introduce yourself as doctor, grandpa, or Morah (teacher), that conveys a level of formality or the topics we might discuss.
Life is an intricate and sensitive dance between the names we choose and the names others choose for us.
Our sages taught, “In life, you discover that people are called by three names: One is the name your parents call you; one is the name others call you, and one is the name you acquire for yourself. The best one is the one you acquire for yourself (Tanchuma, Vayak’heil 1).”
In the year ahead, may you explore the names given to you, the ones you have earned and acquire new names for yourself.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bernstein
Affiliated with United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism