Moshe, in frustration, cried out to God: I cannot carry all these people by myself, for it is too much for me. If you would deal thus with me, kill me rather I beg you and let me see no more of my wretchedness Numbers/Bamidbar11:14).
Our Sedra is called Parshat Beha'alotcha but it should be called Parshat Hamiton’nim, the Torah portion of complainers. The Israelites have reached a true high; they were freed from Egypt, received the Torah, built and then dedicated the magnificent Mishkan, but it all seems to break down. They go into depression, they find fault with their leaders and therefore with G-d and they start to practice that time-honored Jewish tradition: Kvetching. They complain about the conditions of the desert; the lack of water; the shortage of meat; the taste of the miraculous Manna. Even Miriam and Aaron get into the act when they complain to Moshe about his neglecting his wife Tzipora and they also commit Lashon Hara/Slander about Tzipora.
We find fault with everyone and everything. In fact, we don’t even need a specific reason to complain. Chapter 11 of our Torah portion begins by simply saying, “The people took to complaining bitterly before the Lord.” Notice this is before any specific complaints were lodged! There was just a general mood of discontent that gripped the Israelites Where does this feeling come from? The answer, I suggest, can be found in 2 tiny little words.
When complaining about the manna, the people say: “Now our gullets are shriveled. There is nothing at all! Nothing but this manna to look to.” Ayn kol! These last two words ayn kol can mean, “we have nothing.” But it can also mean, “we don’t have everything! And there is the key to it all. If you believe that everything is coming to you, then the moment you don’t have something - be it a steak done exactly the way you like it, ice in your drink or the perfect temperature of 72 degrees (all pretty hard things to get in a desert!) then you forget about all the amazing blessings you do have and you focus only on what is missing.
If this was a problem 2500 years ago, it is perhaps even more of a problem today. Our souls are often spoiled, too. We want everything to be perfect, and when it doesn’t quite go the way we want it, we go ballistic, or we fall into moaning, groaning or depression. We suddenly forget all the beautiful gifts which God sends our way every day, every second; the amazing miracles that surround us. One of a Jew’s greatest tests is whether he/she will see themselves deprived, or divinely blessed. One attitude leads to a life of bitterness, the other to a life of blessing. Which one will you choose?
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