We have all been in this situation before; we run into a friend of ours and notice they are feeling blue and looking sad and depressed. Our natural instinct is to do everything in our power to make them happy and put a smile on their face.
However; instead, our cheerfulness has the adverse effect and makes them sadder or angrier. This is because they want to feel understood, heard and listened to. They want their friend to get into the pit with them and be with them in their sadness instead of simply trying to make them feel happy.
We can learn what to do in this situation from Joseph. While he is in jail in Egypt with two of Pharaoh’s courtiers he sees that they are feeling low and having the blues. What does Joseph say? Does he say, it will be ok don’t worry no need to be sad? Of course not, that would be insensitive and inconsiderate. Instead he says, “Why are you in despair today?” (Chapter 40:7) The literal translation is why are your faces bad today? Joseph gives his fellow inmates the space to unburden themselves and share their feelings which turn out to be dreams that he helps interpret for them. Does Joseph tell them anything initially? No, instead he simply asks a question which allows them to unburden themselves.
If you care about someone going through a rough patch, find some time to listen. If you are not good at listening, offer a hug or—very Jewishly—a cake. . .
Shabbat Shalom, Cantor Kowitz
SERVICES Friday, Nov. 30 - Thursday, Dec. 6
Friday 6:00 PM Tot Chanukah Shabbat 8:00 PM Kabbalat Shabbat Saturday 9:00 AM Nosh and Drosh 9:45 AM Welcome Temple Israel Shabbat 10:30 AM Junior Congregation Sunday 9:00 AM Minyan Monday 6:30 AM Minyan 8:00 PM Minyan requested by Sheila Bashkoff and Phyllis Newman Thursday 8:00 AM Minyan
DID YOU KNOW? With the stock market reaching record highs, this is a great time to consider a gift of appreciated securities to support Congregation Beth Ohr. Why now? Although a $5,000 cash gift and a gift of $5,000 in appreciated securities both generate the same charitable deduction, if you use publicly-traded stocks, bonds or mutual fund shares that you have held for a year or longer to make your gift, you will receive an additional tax benefit: The IRS allows you to make your transfer to Congregation Beth Ohr without recognizing capital gains on the appreciation. You can thus provide a larger donation than you could make with cash - and receive a larger tax benefit - by "buying low and giving high." How It Works You transfer appreciated stocks, bonds or mutual fund shares you have owned for one year or more to the Congregation Beth Ohr Congregation Beth Ohr sells your securities and uses the proceeds to support our core educational programs or a specific area that you choose through a conversation with our staff. Benefits To You: You receive an immediate income-tax deduction for the fair market value of the securities on the date of transfer, no matter what you originally paid for them. You pay no capital gains tax on the transfer. A gift of appreciated securities is for you if... You're holding stocks, bonds, or mutual fund shares that have increased in value You want to make a gift that doesn't affect your liquidity or cash flow You want to make an endowment gift, or fund a program in perpetuity You want to diversify your assets to increase your income without having to pay the capital gains taxes from a sale Please consult your tax advisor regarding your donation.
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