Dear CBO Family,
We have all learned new rituals during this pandemic, from how we greet people to how we come home after being outside. Before leaving the house, we make sure that we have a mask and sanitizer and think about how we are going to navigate aisles, door handles, and more. When we come home, each household has a new normal including shedding layers that touched the outside.
Our rituals provide us with the structure to manage the risks in our lives. This has always been true. During ancient Greece, people began shaking hands as an agreement of peace that no one was concealing a weapon. Now we shake hands because it has carried the meaning of comradery and goodwill. These rituals which once began as practical solutions turn into societal norms and languages. While it may have been a message of friendship to pat a friend on the shoulder, we are slowly and awkwardly finding new ways of conveying love without touch, from funny facial expressions, bowing, and expressing ourselves verbally. Who knows how these rituals will take on new life in the future?
This evolution is not unlike Jewish traditions and how they have evolved and gained new meaning from generation to generation. It’s like the child asking his mother why she cuts off the ends of the brisket before putting it in the oven. She could only answer that this is what her mother did. When he probed his grandmother, she had the same answer. When he finally made it to his great grandmother and asked about the meaning behind cutting off the ends of the brisket, she chuckled and said, “the only pan I had was too small and the brisket could never fit!” When we have the answer and the myth is debunked, we may ask ourselves why do we keep these traditions? Now that we have big pans, shall we not behave like our grandmothers?
For me, tradition is our ancient love language, our way of connecting with the loving nourishment of our parents and grandparents and the ways that their parents and grandparents cared for them. The rituals were born out of the quirks and circumstances of our ancestors. We see that people want to know where they came from. This is one of the reasons why 23 and Me is so popular. One way to answer this question is to experience the ritual the way they lived it. It is our way to explore how our ancestors chose to show love, protection, and belonging.
When we read the rituals of the ancient Leviim and Cohanim lighting the Menorah in our Torah portion, in some ways, this is very distant, while in others, I can see the practical and emotional connection. I imagine these leaders who were terrified of their people losing hope, disintegrating, and getting distracted by harmful inclinations. What did they do? They lit a lamp, a menorah and ordained leaders by having the people put their hands on them. They created a symbol and invested the people with a connection to their leadership. I don’t know about you, but hope, leadership, and faith sound good to me right now.
I invite you to explore the language of ritual. Identify the new rituals in your life and try on a ritual you may have done once, but would try again. See how it feels and imagine how it started. Connect with your great great grandparents who likely performed this ritual. Ask for their protection, their loving connection and embrace the sense of belonging. May we turn to old and new rituals to bring us stability as we continue on our own path.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Bernstein
